Fisherman's Table: Drawing Hearts through Shared Meals
Introduction
In today’s fast-paced world, the simple act of sharing a meal can become a meaningful expression of connection and care. Having meals together is not perfunctory, but can be a spiritual practice that reflects the heart of the gospel. Around the table, we share more than food; we share our lives, breaking down barriers, forming friendships and making the love of Christ tangible. Meals have the unique ability to gather diverse people together in the same space, opening doors for conversation, discipleship and mutual care.
Throughout the Gospels, we see Jesus using mealtimes to extend grace, build relationships, and invite people into His Kingdom. In the same way, hospitality, especially through shared meals, offers an organic and powerful way to build community while engaging in the kingdom’s mission together.
In this feature, we hear from Janson and Kathleen, a young couple from our 4:19 Disciplemaking Community (DMC), who regularly connect with new people through sharing meals. Together, we will discover how opening our homes and gathering around the table nourishes bodies and souls, weaving community and mission together in a way that reflects the heart of Jesus and His Kingdom.
Through your time in the 4:19 Disciplemaking Community (DMC), can you share a specific instance when sharing a meal opened doors for deeper conversations about faith and/or built a stronger sense of community?
Janson and Kathleen
As part of the 4:19 DMC, we invite our Christian and non-Christian friends along for dinner at a youth hub after our small group Bible studies. We affectionately call those dinners the 'Fisherman's Table'. The Fisherman's Table is often the first point of contact that our new friends have with the broader community in 4:19 and serves as a wonderful platform to extend warmth and care, creating opportunities for them to befriend others and get to know the community. Among these individuals, several new friends have taken the next step to attend the “Work Matters” Bible Study which we use as an introductory Bible study for seekers.
Our friend, T, embarked on her journey of seeking God when she was first introduced to us by a Navigator labourer. She joined the Fisherman's Table on multiple occasions, during which the ladies within the 4:19 DMC took an interest in her life and built close friendships with her. We live close to her, so we have spent much time travelling with her to and from the youth hub and have had her over at our place for dinner.
As T’s friendship with Kathleen grew, she opened up about her life and struggles which allowed Kathleen and the ladies to journey with and encourage her. They invited her to join them for an investigative Bible study and she is now faithfully learning about Jesus and sees the gospel in a positive light. These days, she has even been joining us for church service! As we pray for her salvation, we also marvel at what God is doing in her life. Seeing how far she has come in seeking to know God, it is humbling to recall how all of this began simply by us having meals together.
Kathleen sharing durians with T (right)
Another thing we try to do from time to time is to host fellow believers at our place. This includes key members of the ministry in the 4:19 DMC that we are a part of and friends in other ministries whom we have served with in the past as well. These are always very enjoyable and uplifting times of sharing our lives and seeing God work among different groups of people in His harvest field. We have had many meaningful conversations and even the privilege of learning from other labourers who taught us about life-long labouring through their stories and life examples.
Why do you believe that hospitality—particularly through shared meals—can be a powerful tool in building relationships and sharing the gospel in today's world?
Janson
In my opinion, hospitality is essentially Christ's love in action.
In placing others before ourselves (Philippians 2:3-4) and spending our resources of time, money and energy to welcome and serve them, we share with them in very practical terms, the love of Jesus.
Do nothing out of selfish ambition or
vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves.
Each of you should look not only to
your own interests, but also to the interests of others.
— Philippians 2:3-4
Sharing meals is nothing new; the early believers broke bread together as they fellowshipped with much joy and the Lord added to their numbers (Acts 2:46-47). While the world may be filled with sadness and self-interest, inviting someone for a meal and loving them genuinely bears witness to Jesus' love. What a stark contrast to the ways of the world! I firmly believe that this authentic love in action will shine forth and be evident to others.
Every day they continued to meet
together in the temple courts.
They broke bread in their homes and ate
together with glad and sincere hearts,
praising God and enjoying the favour of all the people
And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved.
— Acts 2:46-47
Kathleen 
There are many young working adults today who are lonely and overwhelmed. After a full day of work, they might be too drained for other activities—much less have the energy to initiate or plan activities to spend time together. Most people (myself included) resort to quick fixes to unwind for the day in the form of watching dramas or movies, scrolling through social media, sports or news. While technology has given us these many outlets to relax, perhaps, it is also filling our minds with tonnes of information and superficial connections, robbing us of quality friendships and conversations.
Sharing a meal is much slower than swiping/liking/commenting. Conversations last longer and are more organic as we read and respond to each other's emotions, energy and openness. Naturally, this creates more opportunities for ministering, encouraging and for the gospel to be shared (or just elements of what we believe—baby steps!).
Furthermore, in that one sitting of a meal, there is less information and distraction, and in place, more space to brood over things and ask questions. We are to practice the hospitality of our hearts—to make the other party feel at home, safe and welcomed in the conversations that we are engaging them in. That was a cool phrase and concept that my mentor, Patricia, shared a while ago that really struck a chord with me.
If you have a home that you can receive guests in, the message of hospitality can be communicated all the more visibly. Opening our doors to people, intentionally serving them and making them feel comfortable and allowing them to see where and how we live, carries the flavours of earnestness and honesty, setting the tone for guests to reciprocate in our interactions. That being said, just be careful not to overdo it, as it could backfire and make one uncomfortable!
The last aspect of hospitality or sharing a meal is that it can be incorporated into our lifestyle with ease (both for the one extending and receiving the hospitality). We know that effective relationship-building is not a once-off activity; it requires consistency and/or frequency. Therefore, choosing something that we can keep at without being completely drained and beaten is key to sustaining this in the long run. I don't know about you, but I can't think of anything easier than eating and living!
A lovely night of hosting new friends from the 4:19 DMC
What practical steps do you take to create a gracious and loving climate where others from different backgrounds feel welcomed and valued during a meal or gathering?
Janson
A practical way to love others over a shared meal is by paying close attention to the guests. This does not mean being overbearing, sticking with them everywhere they go or talking to them all the time. However, by keeping an eye out for them, I am better able to understand their needs.
For example, if a guest is not attended to or if the person who invited them is occupied in another conversation, stepping in to talk to them would help them feel more at ease and welcomed. There are also instances where the guest may have a quieter demeanour. In such situations, if they are already enjoying a good conversation with one or two friends, I would refrain from joining in or bringing others along into the conversation to not overwhelm our guest.
Another practical step (which is, truthfully, applicable to any social setting) is to guard my tongue and encourage brothers and sisters in Christ to do so as well. There are instances where comfort and familiarity could lead to conversations getting out of hand as joking and poking fun at one another excessively can create an environment that may not be edifying.
Lastly, another practical step is to serve others wholeheartedly. This can manifest in many ways, but when I pray and focus my attention on serving others, the Lord will give me wisdom to care for them in the best possible way.
One example of how this is lived out is by getting to know the dietary restrictions of the guest and cooking them a meal that caters to their needs. We have the freedom to partake in many kinds of food, however from time to time, we do meet individuals who have specific dietary needs or preferences. This means we should not be just cooking up something for the majority, but should also be intentionally remembering these individuals, showing them Christ's love which goes the extra mile.
In fostering relationships from shared meals, can you share how these relationships have extended beyond to impact others in your network or sphere of influence?
Janson and Kathleen
We shared about our friend T earlier. T now even takes the initiative to help us play host when we welcome others into the community. We recently had some friends from Japan visit Singapore. They are students whom we got to know on a mission trip there a few years ago. During their visit, T was actively engaged with the students in conversation and even helped them as they prepared meals for us.
Through another member of the ministry, we also witnessed the spirit of excellence in serving. On the day that we had the Japanese friends at our place for dinner, a fellow labourer came over to our place just to cook them chilli crab as he was experienced with this but more importantly availed his time, skills and heart to serve the guests and bless them with this uniquely Singaporean culinary experience.
Janson (third from the right), together with other
4:19 key members, share life with their Japanese friends
Having others over for a meal is something our flatmates (whom we rent our current place with) have taken up for themselves as well. In sharing the cooking duties, and the chores to clean up after meals, our flatmates have also grown in confidence and skill to host others as well. One of our flatmates who would only ever cook for himself (as he felt the food he prepared was not good enough to be served to others), has now picked up a few dishes himself and is increasingly growing an excellent spirit of serving others.
How has hospitality been used in discipling others and in being discipled yourself?
Janson
Having had wonderful examples of our Navigators mentors who first opened up their homes and showed Christ’s love, inspired us to also open ours to others too. The ability to host people at our rented place was supported first by the generosity of our mentors, Chris and Patricia, who blessed us with all kinds of kitchen utensils and even a dining table when we first moved in, and by a fellow labourer who gifted us a pressure pot! These were the individuals God gave to set us up to become good hosts with the attitude of hospitality and all the necessary tools for serving well!
Kathleen
For me, empathetically listening and presenting Truth to others is not really the challenge. That is easy to do when I have the right spirit. The bigger challenge for me is to get into the right spirit and to ready the food and the dinner table with a joyful and humble heart.
In all honesty, there have been times when I invited someone over just because it was “about time” to catch up or that it was only right to do so; being driven by a sense of duty rather than love for the person. In those moments, my heart is not very welcoming and I am unable to ask the “right” questions to draw them out, simply due to my lack of interest or care.
It is a blessing that thanking God for His provision and committing the food and time to God gets me back on track. Prayer turns me back to God and realigns my heart with His, reminding me that He wants to draw this person closer and build this person up. Moreover, there are others helping to facilitate the conversation too!
My tongue also has a tendency to be sharper when I'm cooking, especially when under the pressure of time. Practising the Fruit of the Spirit (namely peace, patience and self-control) while cooking becomes harder than usual. I had to learn to recognise and acknowledge God even in the frenzy, to put my tongue under the Lordship of Jesus. Janson’s eyebrow raises act as reminders for me to do so.
In discipling others, I have learnt that hospitality does not have to be a one-man show. Most of the time when we have guests, I am not the only one playing host. When others come to the community, there are people from the whole ministry around to welcome them. When others come to my flat, I have my flatmates (who are conveniently all from 4:19 DMC). Since there are avenues to serve, there are plenty of opportunities to invite them along to serve with us.
Our flatmates have been a huge blessing to us, as Janson and I could never do everything or be with everyone at the same time. Hospitality becomes easier and more effective when everyone shares the same heart of serving. That’s the beauty of the body of Christ—the Church!
Sharing the same heart: Kathleen (second from the left) and her Bible study groupmates worked together to make delicious bakes during the previous Christmas party to serve about 40 people!
About Janson
Janson grew up in Malaysia, where his parents brought him to Sunday School from when he was young. A couple of years later, he experienced God through Proverbs 3:5-6 when he encountered roadblocks in his scholarship applications for his University studies. It was in this season of waiting that one of his teachers introduced him to The Navigators.
When he was eventually led to study at Nanyang Technological University (NTU), he looked up the NTU Navigators in his first week in school and the rest is history. The discipling relationships during his time there helped him grow in every element of the Wheel Life, especially the areas of fellowship and witnessing. He learnt how to share Jesus’ love practically with those around him as he closely walked with Christ.
About Kathleen
Kathleen invited Jesus into her heart when she was a child, but her understanding of His lordship and her salvation were limited. However, years later, she witnessed evident life changes in her brother who had met members from The Navigators campus ministry and was eventually led to visit and join the NTU Navigators as well. She is grateful for her personal mentor who helped her to not only store up truths in her mind but also to respond by applying them obediently and with the clarity of God's love and mission.
Kathleen is a warehouse solutions analyst who handles middle-end work and enjoys the fun and challenge as part of the new business division which is in its teething stages. Kathleen and her husband, Janson, consider themselves to be polar opposites, but she believes that unity is not the absence of differences, but rather the oneness of heart inclined towards a common goal.
Janson and Kathleen are currently co-labouring together in the 4:19 DMC ministry.