Living and Discipling Among the Lost
Posted on 30 Sep 2020
By Kai Hua
Kai Hua, one of our senior associates in his 70s, has been actively involved with the Navigators in ministry overseas for the most part of his life. Now, back at home because of the pandemic, he has decided to work part-time as a security officer to stay engaged with the lost. In the course of his assignments, he managed to have long and meaningful spiritual conversations with his colleagues and the public –– people whom he crossed paths with regularly. Kai Hua has shared with staff and labourers on several occasions what he has been learning during this time on what it means to live and disciple among the lost. Here are some excerpts from his sharing:
How do we live among the lost?
“I think living among the lost has to involve interaction within the community that goes beyond small talk. Being a relief security officer, it gives me the opportunity to work in a number of different sectors. Since January, I have worked in primary schools, a government ministry building, office buildings in the CBD and even in car showrooms!
Along the way, I had opportunities to interact with many different people whom I worked with. There was this guy that I talked to about the importance of exercising (he had noticed my fitness condition in spite of my age) and gradually I switched to talking about the need to take care of our spiritual condition as well. Hence I asked him, “Hey, are you a Christian?” He shared that there was a time when he was in a deep depression and a Christian friend came along to help him walk out of his depression. In the process, I’m sure this friend shared the gospel with him because he told me that he has “prayed to receive Christ!”.We had a good few minutes of interesting discussion.
There was another guy that I partnered with on one assignment. He is about 60 years old and was retrenched. He decided to take on a full-time security officer job. His first experience was at a hotel in Sentosa. It was a really bad experience, so he changed company and came to work with me that day (I believe it was really a divine appointment). He was very negative, complaining and grumbling. I chatted with him and tried to listen to his story. Then I asked him, “Have you ever thought of going to church?” He said that he is a church member and has been a Christian for 2 years. As I was chatting with him, I found out that he had no assurance. As we had much time on our hands (the building we guarded was due for demolition and there was nobody coming in), I got to spend 2-3 hours sharing with him about assurance and having Quiet Time with the Lord.
“I think living among the lost has to involve interaction within the community that goes beyond small talk. Being a relief security officer, it gives me the opportunity to work in a number of different sectors. Since January, I have worked in primary schools, a government ministry building, office buildings in the CBD and even in car showrooms!
Along the way, I had opportunities to interact with many different people whom I worked with. There was this guy that I talked to about the importance of exercising (he had noticed my fitness condition in spite of my age) and gradually I switched to talking about the need to take care of our spiritual condition as well. Hence I asked him, “Hey, are you a Christian?” He shared that there was a time when he was in a deep depression and a Christian friend came along to help him walk out of his depression. In the process, I’m sure this friend shared the gospel with him because he told me that he has “prayed to receive Christ!”.We had a good few minutes of interesting discussion.
There was another guy that I partnered with on one assignment. He is about 60 years old and was retrenched. He decided to take on a full-time security officer job. His first experience was at a hotel in Sentosa. It was a really bad experience, so he changed company and came to work with me that day (I believe it was really a divine appointment). He was very negative, complaining and grumbling. I chatted with him and tried to listen to his story. Then I asked him, “Have you ever thought of going to church?” He said that he is a church member and has been a Christian for 2 years. As I was chatting with him, I found out that he had no assurance. As we had much time on our hands (the building we guarded was due for demolition and there was nobody coming in), I got to spend 2-3 hours sharing with him about assurance and having Quiet Time with the Lord.
What are some lessons that I have learned?
The key lesson to living among the lost is to have interaction. I have learnt to have conversations with people, which will eventually lead to spiritual conversations. By having conversations, I can relax and be natural in expressing my opinion and views.
What’s more important is that through it all, I demonstrate a genuine interest in the person. I am not after him just so that I can preach the gospel to him (though of course that’s the ultimate objective, if God opens the way), but to be very natural in discussing and sharing about issues that are of concern to the person. I have learnt to be genuine and natural, and to be a good listener.
When you read books about being a good listener, they will say things like you have to nod your head, say “Uh huh, I understand” etc. By doing this you are showing the person that you are listening, but I believe you need to go further than that.
What I mean is that we need to ask questions, but I don’t mean to ask questions like in an interview or in a threatening manner. I remembered one non-Christian telling me that a Christian who approached him started asking him questions as if he were interviewing him: “Do you believe in a God? Have you read the bible? Do you go to a church?”. It was like an interview! No, that’s not what I mean by asking questions.
As I listened to this person share his story, I was like, “Oh, I wonder how it happened. Can you tell me a bit more?” He might also tell me about an interest that he has and I’ll say, “Oh, I wonder how you developed this interest…how did you learn more about it?” I’m trying to draw the person out and to know more about him. That’s what I mean by being authentic and non-threatening.
But of course, I also need to be an interesting person such that when I speak, the other person would feel that I have some good thoughts or experiences to share. Hence, it’s an interaction, not an interview. It’s a discussion and sharing of thoughts and ideas back and forth. Natural conversations will lead to spiritual conversations––conversations where we talk about our beliefs and worldviews (not gospel presentation!). The person may be a Muslim, Hindu or Buddhist, but I can also share my views on Christianity. Hence, it’s simply a spiritual conversation on spiritual matters but as time goes on, it can lead to a gospel conversation.
As we live among the lost, we need to learn to have conversations and be able to pick up where we left off, perhaps a day or two later. For example, the next time you meet you can say, “Hey, you mentioned that you are going to do this exercise so have you done it?” It’s a series of conversations and through the process, we begin to build trust. He sees me as an interesting person and as a friend. We can talk and as our relationship deepens, he begins to tell me more of his stories and life issues. He may even want to know more about my story!
Besides conversations, it is also helpful to demonstrate acts of kindness. It is through acts of kindness, I believe, that others would come to see that we are different from the common folks. We are not just people who bury our heads in the bible or spend all our time at church.
Jesus says in Matthew 5:16, “…let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.” We can’t let our light shine before others if we are hiding ourselves behind closed doors. We need to be a light to others by reaching out to them in kindness whenever the opportunity arises. In fact, we should seek out such opportunities deliberately.
One of the guys I met at work had colon surgery and he has to carry a bag on his body (because he has difficulty controlling it). Hence I decided to give him some unused diapers that I got from my neighbours. He was really happy.
There was another guy I met at work who was not feeling well while he was on duty. As each of us has our own break time, I told him that he can use my break time so that he can rest longer. These are simple acts of kindness which we can do for others and people will appreciate and be drawn to you.
Christian Work Ethics
I believe that when we bring Christian work ethics into our workplace, people will take notice. It is a very effective way to make a difference. We don’t cheat or lie; we say what we mean; we do our work in a responsible manner (as to the Lord); we do not grumble, complain or talk behind people’s back, and we don’t speak ill or join in on conversations about our “bad” bosses or complain about the government policies etc.
Colossians 4:5-6 reminds us of how we should behave towards outsiders and to make the most of every opportunity.
“Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.”
I believe that when we bring Christian work ethics into our workplace, people will take notice. It is a very effective way to make a difference. We don’t cheat or lie; we say what we mean; we do our work in a responsible manner (as to the Lord); we do not grumble, complain or talk behind people’s back, and we don’t speak ill or join in on conversations about our “bad” bosses or complain about the government policies etc.
Colossians 4:5-6 reminds us of how we should behave towards outsiders and to make the most of every opportunity.
“Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.”
Need for a Paradigm Shift
Working and living among the lost needs a paradigm shift. I think we are used to the cold turkey, apologetic approach––walk up to a stranger and present the gospel at the quickest and earliest opportunity (Acts 17:2-3). However, I feel that when we work and live among the lost, we need to take on an incarnational approach.
John 1:14 says that the Word (Jesus) became flesh and dwelt among us.
Hence, we need to adapt accordingly to the situation we are in. Be it at work in the marketplace, being neighbours or living and studying among our fellow students, we need to adopt the incarnational approach.
2 Corinthians 2:14 tells us of how God uses us to “spread the aroma of the knowledge of him everywhere”.
So as we move among the lost, what fragrance do they smell?
Let that be a challenge for all of us.”
Working and living among the lost needs a paradigm shift. I think we are used to the cold turkey, apologetic approach––walk up to a stranger and present the gospel at the quickest and earliest opportunity (Acts 17:2-3). However, I feel that when we work and live among the lost, we need to take on an incarnational approach.
John 1:14 says that the Word (Jesus) became flesh and dwelt among us.
Hence, we need to adapt accordingly to the situation we are in. Be it at work in the marketplace, being neighbours or living and studying among our fellow students, we need to adopt the incarnational approach.
2 Corinthians 2:14 tells us of how God uses us to “spread the aroma of the knowledge of him everywhere”.
So as we move among the lost, what fragrance do they smell?
Let that be a challenge for all of us.”
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